I'm so glad God's plan for me is not my own. I'm so glad He sees fit to provide me with beautiful gifts I would have missed out on left to my own devices.
As soon as my son woke up from his nap yesterday I made sure he was happily playing with his toys and put in my workout DVD. The music started and I began to move, suddenly his little voice rang out with peals of laughter. He jumped up and ran over to me and started marching in place just like mommy, squealing with laughter the entire time. As I continued to work out he ran around me giggling and throwing himself around the back of my legs. I had to pick him up so he would no get hurt (adding about 21 pounds of resistance *lol*) and he squealed even more as he bounced up and down in my arms. Once the intensity picked up to an in place jog I had to put him down. I simply jogged around in a tiny little circle chasing him as he ran. By the time the first mile was over I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. What a great way to workout!
When my husband came home from work I decided he had to see it fist hand, so I popped in my DVD and began mile 2. Sure enough, my little man ran over and started working out with mommy. I thought my husband was going to fall in the floor laughing.
The unbelievable thing to me is that children were never in my plans. I grew up hard. I felt that I had already raised a child (me) and did not want to raise another. Truthfully, part of me was terrified that I'd never be able to be the kind of mother a child deserved. I was afraid of turning out like my mother. I also have physical issues that doctors told me would make it near impossible for me to become pregnant much less carry a child. My husband and I discussed this before we married. Although he loves children, he had been married before and he and his first wife were unable to conceive. Medical testing showed that due to "slow swimmers" the chance of him being able to produce a child without medical intervention was slim to none.
The first year of our marriage I took "the pill" just in case. The hormones didn't agree with me so I stopped taking them. After 5 years of marriage my husband and I had no reason to believe the doctors were wrong. We lived life the way we wanted, and never gave it a second thought. Then in late summer of 2007, I ended up pregnant. I'll save the story of my pregnancy for another time, but after much struggle we ended up with a beautiful baby boy.
The strangest thing about it was that I NEVER had a moment of not wanting my son. Despite never wanting children, despite the huge surprise that changed my entire world, I wanted this little boy from the moment I saw those pink lines. I believe that he is a gift from God and we were meant to have him at the exact moment he came.
My precious little boy worked out with his mommy again this morning. I know that not only is he having fun, he's also learning the habit of exercise. Even though he does not know it, he's giving me all the motivation in the world.
Yesterday I:
Drank 3-16 oz glasses of water (one less than my goal)
Completed Mile 1 and Mile 2 of 5 Mile Fat burning Walk
Did 10 girl push ups
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Perfection
Yesterday I came to a realization that may make all the difference in the world for me.
You see I'm a perfectionist. There, I said it out loud for the world to hear. The problem with being a perfectionist is that I am NOT perfect. Far from it. Being a perfectionist means that when I start a "plan" and slip up I immediately feel like a failure and must start over. I leave no room for mistakes. You know, the mindset that says, "Hey I ate this forbidden snack cake for breakfast so I might as well eat this Big Mac and Fries for lunch, and because I've done that I might as well eat chips and drink soda all day because I've blown it." "I'll just start over next week." Except when next week comes I will not be perfect then either.
So many of us fall into this trap when dieting. We think that if we make one mistake we might as well forget it for the day. The thing is, nothing says if we make one bad choice we no longer have the right to choose. I think this has finally clicked for me. I am determined to no longer feel like a failure because of one bad choice.
I drank a soda at lunch today. Guess what? I'm drinking my water now. Would it have been better for me to have skipped the soda? Definitely, but it would have been worse to have eaten my husband's Devil Cremes too because I had already blown it. I'm going to log off after my son wakes up and exercises. One soda will not ruin my day!
Yesterday I managed:
2-16 oz glasses of water. (half of my 64 oz goal)
1 mile of Leslie Sansone's 5 Mile Fat Burning Walk
You see I'm a perfectionist. There, I said it out loud for the world to hear. The problem with being a perfectionist is that I am NOT perfect. Far from it. Being a perfectionist means that when I start a "plan" and slip up I immediately feel like a failure and must start over. I leave no room for mistakes. You know, the mindset that says, "Hey I ate this forbidden snack cake for breakfast so I might as well eat this Big Mac and Fries for lunch, and because I've done that I might as well eat chips and drink soda all day because I've blown it." "I'll just start over next week." Except when next week comes I will not be perfect then either.
So many of us fall into this trap when dieting. We think that if we make one mistake we might as well forget it for the day. The thing is, nothing says if we make one bad choice we no longer have the right to choose. I think this has finally clicked for me. I am determined to no longer feel like a failure because of one bad choice.
I drank a soda at lunch today. Guess what? I'm drinking my water now. Would it have been better for me to have skipped the soda? Definitely, but it would have been worse to have eaten my husband's Devil Cremes too because I had already blown it. I'm going to log off after my son wakes up and exercises. One soda will not ruin my day!
Yesterday I managed:
2-16 oz glasses of water. (half of my 64 oz goal)
1 mile of Leslie Sansone's 5 Mile Fat Burning Walk
Monday, January 4, 2010
Why Do They Do That?
It is Monday, the start of a brand new week. I don't know about you, but I'm ready.
My weekend went well. But it wasn't without challenges. My thoughts for the today came as a result of my nephew's birthday party. Why do people try so hard to sabotage your weight loss?
I HATE (and yes, I used that word) eating around my husband's family. I'm overweight, but it isn't because I eat huge portions at meal times, although I do eat more than I should. It is because I make the wrong food choices, and have a hideous sugar addiction. Anyway, every time there is a gathering it goes like this:
Family: Is that all you are going to eat?
Me: Yes
F: Why, I thought you liked_______?
M: I do, but I didn't want any today.
F: Why, isn't it good?
M: It is fine, I just didn't want any today.
F: Well, you don't have enough on your plate.
M: I got what I wanted, it is fine.
F: Why aren't you eating.
M: I am eating.
I'll spare you the rest of the dialogue, but it always ends with someone telling me I don't need to lose weight, insisting on it, and then going on and on. Seriously? I know that people are trying to be nice and not hurt feelings, but I have a mirror and I've viewed the pictures.
My mother had her first heart attack at forty, my father is diabetic, one grandfather died of heart disease, the other of cancer. I need to be healthy for my son and yet I find no support. I've already explained the in-laws. My husband? Well, he gets mad at me for not buying all the junk food we both love to eat and complains about healthy dinner choices. He can't understand that if it is in the house, I'll eat it.
Support or not, I'm going to do this. I need it for me, and I need it for my son.
Each day I will be posting the previous day's workouts, successes and failures. I will weigh in every Friday. The weekends are non-blogging days for me as I spend that time with my husband.
My weekend went well. But it wasn't without challenges. My thoughts for the today came as a result of my nephew's birthday party. Why do people try so hard to sabotage your weight loss?
I HATE (and yes, I used that word) eating around my husband's family. I'm overweight, but it isn't because I eat huge portions at meal times, although I do eat more than I should. It is because I make the wrong food choices, and have a hideous sugar addiction. Anyway, every time there is a gathering it goes like this:
Family: Is that all you are going to eat?
Me: Yes
F: Why, I thought you liked_______?
M: I do, but I didn't want any today.
F: Why, isn't it good?
M: It is fine, I just didn't want any today.
F: Well, you don't have enough on your plate.
M: I got what I wanted, it is fine.
F: Why aren't you eating.
M: I am eating.
I'll spare you the rest of the dialogue, but it always ends with someone telling me I don't need to lose weight, insisting on it, and then going on and on. Seriously? I know that people are trying to be nice and not hurt feelings, but I have a mirror and I've viewed the pictures.
My mother had her first heart attack at forty, my father is diabetic, one grandfather died of heart disease, the other of cancer. I need to be healthy for my son and yet I find no support. I've already explained the in-laws. My husband? Well, he gets mad at me for not buying all the junk food we both love to eat and complains about healthy dinner choices. He can't understand that if it is in the house, I'll eat it.
Support or not, I'm going to do this. I need it for me, and I need it for my son.
Each day I will be posting the previous day's workouts, successes and failures. I will weigh in every Friday. The weekends are non-blogging days for me as I spend that time with my husband.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Weekly Goals
My Goals for this week are:
1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water daily.
I drink entirely too much soda and because I have an allergy to aspartame I am drinking my calories.
2. Exercise for at least 30 minutes daily.
I purchased Leslie Sansone's 5 Mile Fat Burning Walk to make this easier during the winter weather
3. Eat no junk food.
I'll start with small goals and add as I get into the swing of things.
1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water daily.
I drink entirely too much soda and because I have an allergy to aspartame I am drinking my calories.
2. Exercise for at least 30 minutes daily.
I purchased Leslie Sansone's 5 Mile Fat Burning Walk to make this easier during the winter weather
3. Eat no junk food.
I'll start with small goals and add as I get into the swing of things.
50 Extra Pounds
Normally I'm not a resolution kind of gal but this year my brain "kicked my butt into gear" just in time for January 1st. I'm hoping my momentum and the momentum of those sharing my journey will propel us all onto a brighter and better 2010.
Being overweight can steal your entire identity. I talked yesterday about the missing me, the woman that is dying to get out. People can't see that woman any more. All they see is this:
This picture was taken at my son's first birthday party in May. I am honestly ashamed to put this in his scrapbook (much less post it here).
When people who don't know me ask me about my life, they see the woman in the picture. They can't imagine that this woman works with horses, much less rides them. (Isn't that a thin person's sport?) She obviously needs help loading that 100 pound sack of feed. (If she's that heavy she obviously sits around on her behind.) She wouldn't be interested in the hiking group at church. (She doesn't look like the type that likes to walk). I could go on, but I think you get my point. Nothing is more discouraging than to have people look at you like you are a liar when you talk about the things that make you, you.
I am on my way to changing it! No more excuses!
Being overweight can steal your entire identity. I talked yesterday about the missing me, the woman that is dying to get out. People can't see that woman any more. All they see is this:
This picture was taken at my son's first birthday party in May. I am honestly ashamed to put this in his scrapbook (much less post it here).
When people who don't know me ask me about my life, they see the woman in the picture. They can't imagine that this woman works with horses, much less rides them. (Isn't that a thin person's sport?) She obviously needs help loading that 100 pound sack of feed. (If she's that heavy she obviously sits around on her behind.) She wouldn't be interested in the hiking group at church. (She doesn't look like the type that likes to walk). I could go on, but I think you get my point. Nothing is more discouraging than to have people look at you like you are a liar when you talk about the things that make you, you.
I am on my way to changing it! No more excuses!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Missing
Someone I love is missing. She's a vibrant woman, about 5'7" with long brown hair and green eyes. She's healthy and active. A lifelong farm girl, she works hard and can pull her fair share. She loves to ride her horses and take long hikes in the woods. She's adventuresome and loves the outdoors.
In her younger years she was a R.O.T.C. cadet and could out run and out muscle a fair amount of men. She loved to skydive at the local air park and ride roller coasters. She could work all day without getting tired, much less exhausted.
This missing friend vanished sometime in late 2002. She was replaced by another woman. This woman is a sad replacement, she is overweight and unhappy. The newbie struggles to walk to the barn and no longer enjoys being outside in the summer heat. My toddler wears her out and she worries that she will disappoint him. She can't buy flattering clothing, and she feels depressed and overwhelmed. This replacement can't run to the mailbox much less six miles, and feels too fat to even try to go to the air park.
Things are about to change though. I have a plan to find my long lost friend. I'm pretty sure that I can lure her back with some healthy foods and lots of good habits. I'm going to start looking for her around the barn and near my dusty barbells.
Tomorrow it will be 2010 and I have missed ME for way too long!
Care to join me on my journey?
In her younger years she was a R.O.T.C. cadet and could out run and out muscle a fair amount of men. She loved to skydive at the local air park and ride roller coasters. She could work all day without getting tired, much less exhausted.
This missing friend vanished sometime in late 2002. She was replaced by another woman. This woman is a sad replacement, she is overweight and unhappy. The newbie struggles to walk to the barn and no longer enjoys being outside in the summer heat. My toddler wears her out and she worries that she will disappoint him. She can't buy flattering clothing, and she feels depressed and overwhelmed. This replacement can't run to the mailbox much less six miles, and feels too fat to even try to go to the air park.
Things are about to change though. I have a plan to find my long lost friend. I'm pretty sure that I can lure her back with some healthy foods and lots of good habits. I'm going to start looking for her around the barn and near my dusty barbells.
Tomorrow it will be 2010 and I have missed ME for way too long!
Care to join me on my journey?
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