It is Monday, the start of a brand new week. I don't know about you, but I'm ready.
My weekend went well. But it wasn't without challenges. My thoughts for the today came as a result of my nephew's birthday party. Why do people try so hard to sabotage your weight loss?
I HATE (and yes, I used that word) eating around my husband's family. I'm overweight, but it isn't because I eat huge portions at meal times, although I do eat more than I should. It is because I make the wrong food choices, and have a hideous sugar addiction. Anyway, every time there is a gathering it goes like this:
Family: Is that all you are going to eat?
Me: Yes
F: Why, I thought you liked_______?
M: I do, but I didn't want any today.
F: Why, isn't it good?
M: It is fine, I just didn't want any today.
F: Well, you don't have enough on your plate.
M: I got what I wanted, it is fine.
F: Why aren't you eating.
M: I am eating.
I'll spare you the rest of the dialogue, but it always ends with someone telling me I don't need to lose weight, insisting on it, and then going on and on. Seriously? I know that people are trying to be nice and not hurt feelings, but I have a mirror and I've viewed the pictures.
My mother had her first heart attack at forty, my father is diabetic, one grandfather died of heart disease, the other of cancer. I need to be healthy for my son and yet I find no support. I've already explained the in-laws. My husband? Well, he gets mad at me for not buying all the junk food we both love to eat and complains about healthy dinner choices. He can't understand that if it is in the house, I'll eat it.
Support or not, I'm going to do this. I need it for me, and I need it for my son.
Each day I will be posting the previous day's workouts, successes and failures. I will weigh in every Friday. The weekends are non-blogging days for me as I spend that time with my husband.
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Wow. Reading of your struggle with a non-supportive hubby is like reading my life from THIRTY YEARS AGO. It took me this long to find a way to do it, regardless of lack of support or understanding.
ReplyDeleteOh, please, find a way to do it NOW. You are starting younger and smaller than I did. You can do this! I know when WE change, it affects those around us, and they don't always want the boat rocked.
But some day, hopefully they will be happy about the RESULTS, and maybe understand a little... or not. :-) Either way, as we get healthier, we have more to give, and they will benefit in the end.
Oh, and about other people being pushy... the best way I have found is just not to engage in the conversation. One word answers, a smile, a nod, a shrug, and it dies of lack of fuel.
Keep up the good work, it'll pay off!
Loretta
=^..^=
Casandra, Your post brought tears to my eyes. I struggle with the same thing. Family that doesn't know enough to keep their mouth shut and leave me alone, and an unsupportive husband.
ReplyDeleteMy mom means well, I know she loves me. But I just get a zillion questions about what I'm eating, not eating, why I'm eating what I'm eating, why I "can't" have this etc. errrr The family christmas party was something else!
And my husband still buys crap and when I do make a healthy meal, he VERY quickly shovels it down trying not to gag. By the way, I am a pretty darn good cook when I want to be. He just grew up with and only eats crap.
I am finding that I just do my thing with my food and try not to "talk about it" to others.
Come on now! We can do this!!! We can do it together. I am so happy for this blogging community. Just keep posting and visiting other blogs and let it be your support group.
As far as hubby not being happy about healthy food, well, who does the grocery shopping? Just don't buy it. If he brings it home, tell him to get it out of the house or you're gonna toss it. Tell him to keep it in his car if he must. That's what I told my husband. I shudder to think of what his car looks like right now!
You can do it!!!
Julie
Cassandra, I work outside the home and my adult son and husband bring their own treats in to the house regardless if I buy it or not. The staff table groans with goodies. What I learned to do was to ignore it. I know, easier said than done. As soon as I stopped believing I had no control if the junk food was near me, the sooner my success started. No one ever forced me to eat anything just because it was there. You can't change your environment, you can just change your reaction to it.
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies. You are truly a blessing to me! :)
ReplyDeleteFamilies can be the worst! I too have a horrible sugar addiction and the best thing for me to do was quit sugar. I no longer have desserts or anything that has a lot of sugar. It's what works for me. My sister and I entered a deal to get us both started with this because she needed accountability and competition works for both of us. The deal ended on Jan 2 but over Christmas while we were at home she saw some cinnamon rolls my mom had out for breakfast and she was struggling with saying no. She is overweight. Instead of encouraging her to stick to the deal my mom and sister talked her in to paying up and getting out so that she could "enjoy Christmas." I was so upset with them. She just needed someone to tell her that she didn't really want to lose to me.
ReplyDeleteAnyways... you don't need to explain to anyone why you are doing what you are doing. It would be nice to have the support but if they aren't going to support them just cut the conversation off. Tell them they are not helping you to be healthy and reach your goals. When you lose your weight that will speak loud enough and they will know they were out of line.
As for your husband not understanding... I had a hard time getting mine on board with me a few years ago when I started making healthier choices. I would tell him I wanted to cut out desserts but then he would suggest we go for ice cream or something. He knew I couldn't say no. It took me breaking down and crying and telling him how much it hurt me that he wouldn't support me. I am addicted to sugar. It is sooo hard to say no. I quit but then he talked me back in to it. I asked him if I was a recovered alcoholic would he ever suggest a taste of a drink to me. He said no. Then he got it... sugar is my addiction. That helped him understand better and be more agreable. I know tell him to keep the junk in his car that he takes to work. I don't want to see it.
Anyways... sorry that got so long. You are not alone.
Thank you Laura. Ironically I read a study during some of my college behavior management courses on sugar addiction. I can't quote it word for word, but it showed that the receptors in the brain that are responsible for alcholism react the same way to sugar. My parents are both alcoholics, and I am a sugar addict, so I believe the study may just be accurate. I'm working on cutting the sugar back. I've tried the cold turkey approach before, but it causes me to binge. I do much better if I don't make it the forbidden fruit. :)
ReplyDelete